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Tag: Personal Development

Personal Development – You Need To Get A Life

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09/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

You may well have heard me on talk radio – I am regularly interviewed on personal development and self improvement. Last week, I fired off a couple of emails to radio hosts so that I could talk to listeners about getting more out of life even during these trying times. One guy came back to me with the following response “come on, man, get real”. That’s all he said.

No, you get real! There are too many downbeat people with an attitude that adds fuel to the wildfire of economic turmoil and individual self-doubt. Herd-like minds got the world into its current mess (let’s all get greedy together) the herd mentality will keep it there (let’s all get needy together). You’ve got to wake the hell up – because, if you don’t that’s where you are – in Hell, a hell of your own making. And there’s simply so much of it going on at the moment.

And, if you’re one of those so-called normal people who take perverse pleasure in talking about how bad things are, shut up! If, like somebody that I was talking to recently, you’re too self-conscious to tell your friends that you can still afford to take your winter ski break, you need to ask yourself “what’s that all about?” If you’re really hurting because you’ve lost your job, stop playing the victim. Rather than cowering down under the weight of mass hysteria, take a step away from the herd, open your eyes and you’ll find that opportunities are all around you, the only reason you can’t see them is that you’ve bought into the negative nonsense that is dragging everybody down. Stop going along with everybody else that there are no opportunities, get up off your ass and get real – really and truly!

And a few words my friend who told me that I should get real – get a life and stop dragging everyone else down to your level! It’s about time we stopped this mass-madness – it’s time to start pulling ourselves together and start living life to the full.

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You Don’t Want A Life Coach

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05/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

I have been in the personal development business for more than fifteen years now and, to be honest, a get more than a little fed up when I come across people, who are as mad as hatters, suddenly proclaiming themselves to be a life coach because they did a weekend course or get some internet accreditation. Being a life coach is a deadly serious business. A coach is well placed to play with people’s minds – and there are plenty of them who do just that with awful consequences. Their clients ‘follow their gut’ – a saying I have come across too many times – or people ‘go with the flow’ – more life-coach-speak. But I sometimes find myself trying to help someone pick up the pieces of their lives having taken such so-called professional advice.

I host a two-day personal development seminar – I’ve been at it for over fifteen years – and I explain to participants that they’ve been provided with all the tools that are required to do whatever they want to do with their lives, whether that’s make lots of money, find their ‘one true love’ (whatever that means!) or simply experience happiness. However, the problem with most people is that they want someone to hold their hands for them. As a child, your parents led you by the hand – your teachers did the same, perhaps not literally. Now that you’re an adult, you need to grow up. It’s time to be responsible for your life – you’re the only one who can. It’s time to stop leaning on the supports provided by anyone else and start getting things done for yourself – I think that’s what self help and self improvement mean.

You need to realize that the only person who can take control of your mind is you. And, more importantly, you need to understand that, if you don’t get inside that head of yours and take charge, nothing in your life will change. Over seven decades of research in the discipline of psychology tells us that the normal mind controls the normal person and that this normal mind is tortured by the ghosts of our formative years. Neuro-psychological research also confirms that, when we assume control of our minds, we can enter what successful people describe as the ‘peak performance zone’ and change our lives. But nobody else can do that for you.

You’ve got to tame your wild mind. It’s wild because, right now, it’s a law unto itself. It’s consumed by your formative years and worried about your future – and you’re stuck, helpless, in the middle. You must take over the levers of power – tell your mind who’s in charge. Train your mind to focus on the here and now – the place and time that your mind won’t focus on at all – the time and place that life is lived, where risks are taken, where opportunity knocks.

So, having read these few words, take ten minutes to, quite literally, smell the roses. Sit down and shut your eyes, experience the sounds of the real world, the aromas of now, the rhythm of your own breathing – the reality of the moment. For, if you don’t come to your senses, your life will never change.

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Get Rid Of Self-Help

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03/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Are you a big reader of self help books? Because the world is full of people who are constantly reading, constantly learning, constantly searching, Unfortunately, however, it is not reading that changes your life, doing changes your life.

Constantly reading self help books is not dissimilar to collecting a number of brochures and travel books about an exotic destination that you long to visit. You’ve poured over the lovely pictures, read the experts’ advice, imagined yourself sipping a cocktail looking out over that breath-taking sunset, immersed yourself in the idea of being there. However, you’ll never pluck up the courage to buy the ticket. What’s my point? Reading about how to achieve the life that you really want and doing something about it are two entirely different things. Reading the feel-good stories about how others have taken the required action and, as a consequence, changed their lives, may well give you that warm feeling inside. But tomorrow morning, when you drag yourself out of bed for another day of ‘not-too-bad’, what has changed? Precious little! When wake up to another day of worry, doubt, financial worries or battered self-confidence, what good will all your books have done you? If anything, you’ll find yourself even more restless and more disillusioned than you were in the first place.

Reading, understanding and intellectually appreciating what’s required for you to change your life will change nothing in your life until you put what you’ve learned into daily practice. And here we encounter an obstacle that is simply too big for so-called normal people – they’re afraid to take what they perceive as some risk-laden leap of faith.

If you’ve managed to come across a self improvement book that has step-by-step exercises on how to change your life (and there aren’t many of them – most of them are ‘feel-good books’) then you must know by now that a leap of faith is not necessary. All you’ve got to do is take easy daily steps that shake you out of the mindlessness in which the vast majority of normal people are merely existing.

If you want to change your life, you have to change the way you’re living day to day at present. Change can start small – by doing something as simple as changing your morning routine – because small things startle your subconscious mind out of its comfort zone. And once out you will begin to realize that absolutely everything in your life can be done differently. When this realization dawns upon you, you’re going to find yourself in a completely different place – where things that were otherwise unthinkable suddenly become obvious – and easily doable.

In other words, it’s up to you to start doing the things that will change your life, to stop reading and start doing.

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What Good Will Self Improvement Training Do You?

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03/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

The short answer to the question is “none!” – unless, of course, you’re prepared to put what you’ve learned into practice. Unfortunately, that’s where most of us fall down. Yeah, they spent a day or two and it was wonderful, they felt renewed, uplifted, ready for action. But research shows that it takes about six weeks for the effects of the average training course to wear off – completely – and personal development training is no exception.

Why? Because it’s easier to stay the same – it’s easier to stay “not too bad” when everyone else around you is not too bad as well. It’s less hassle to not have your friends – or, as some of my personal development clients have told me, their family – looking at you as if you’re some kind of born-again weirdo! It’s always easier to fit in. And, it doesn’t matter what new learning we take on board, sooner or later, to a greater or lesser extent, we revert to type, we revert to our default settings, we go back to being normal. But normal is crazy – there’s over seven decades of research that proves that. And not-too-bad isn’t good enough when you think about the life that you could have – effortless happiness, effortless success, peace of mind.

So, what will you do to change your life? Because, you need to understand, if you want you life to change, you’re the one who’s going to have to do something new, something different. Don’t pay any attention to anyone who tells you that you can change your life in five minutes – they want to make a fast buck. Don’t listen to anybody who tells you that success is all about making cart-loads of money – they’re the ones who want loads of money and some of it is yours! Pay no attention to people who keep recommending the latest wonderful book that they’ve just read to you – you won’t change your life by reading – you only change your life by doing.

Doing what? You’ve got to do little things in your life differently. Try starting with little things – like try brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t habitually use – and your mind will get used to the idea that, in every single thing that you do in your life and in every single situation in which you find yourself in your life – you have a choice. You have a choice – can choose to live automatically and mindlessly like all the other normal crazy morons that are happy being not-too-bad, or you can choose to focus on the here and now, feel the toothbrush’s bristles on your teeth, notice how differently you’re holding the brush, taste the toothpaste. It’s in the minute detail of the normal that you will find reality. And when you find reality, you will realize that you can, indeed, achieve effortless success and happiness because, in reality, it just happens.

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Personal Success – Is Your Life Not Too Bad?

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03/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Some time ago, one the first day one of my Personal Development Workshops, I pointed out that, more often than not, when you ask someone how things are going, the answer you’ll get is “not so bad”! On the second day of the workshop, one of the participants said that, whilst driving there, he was listening to early morning radio. Half a dozen people had ‘phoned in for a quiz and, in every case, when they were asked how they were this morning, the answer he got was “not so bad” – without exception! And although I thought that that type of fed-up response was an Irish thing – but I since discovered that that’s not so. My French friends reply that they’re ‘pas mal’, the British respond in much the same vein. And even my American clients have explained to me that, when they say that they’re great, they’re just trying to convince themselves!

Even a quick glance of seven decades of research in psychology will confirm that not so bad is about as good as it gets! Normal people, to quote the renowned spiritualist Tony deMello, sleepwalk through their lives never realizing that, in order to live life to the full, all they’ve got to do is wake up! Sadly, the ordinary mind lives on auto-pilot – the research confirms that, using our psychological capability of automaticity, we pay precious little attention to anything that’s going on. And, in not paying attention to our daily lives, we completely miss the possibilities of life that are staring us in the face.

Now, if you’re feeling not so bad reading this, then that’s simply not good enough! Why would you go through life in some kind of comfort zone that’s not uncomfortable enough for you to do pull yourself together and change your life? Do you have to experience a disaster or crisis to wake up? All the evidence suggests that that is the case. The personal development expert, Ekhart Tolle, had to endure something like a total breakdown, had to end up living on a park bench, before he realized that he should wake up!

Don’t go that low. Don’t let short-change yourself. Don’t let life whizz right past while you complain about not liking your job, while you worry about money, while you get hyper over the peaks and troughs of what you call life. Things are how they are because you made your life that way. And only you can change your life – you can transform it. All you have to do is wake up.

So, what does this waking up involve? Focus on, pay attention to what’s real, not the stuff that’s going through your head and making your existence routine, mundane and a disappointment. Take your blinkers off, see the reality staring you in the face. Come to your senses, smell the roses. God gave you five senses – isn’t it time that you started paying attention to them?

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Don’t Get Lost In Self Improvement

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02/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Are you an avid reader of self help books? Because the world is full of people who are forever reading, always learning, constantly searching, broadening their knowledge not reading that changes your life, doing changes your life.

Continuously reading self help books is much like collecting a pile of brochures and travel guides about some beautiful place that you’ve no intention of visiting! You’ve poured over the lovely pictures, read all the recommendations, imagined what it would be like to be there, immersed yourself in the idea of having arrived. However, you never actually make the reservation or purchase the ticket. What’s my point? Reading about how to achieve the life that you really want and doing something about it are two completely different things. Reading all those feel-good stories about how others have taken the required action and, as a consequence, changed their lives, will give you that warm feeling inside. But tomorrow morning, when you drag yourself out of bed for another day of ‘not-too-bad’, what will have changed? Little or nothing! When you’re confronted with another day of hassle, doubt, financial worries or low self-esteem, what good will all your books have done you? If anything, you’ll find yourself even more restless and more dissatisfied than you were at the outset.

Reading, understanding and intellectually appreciating what it takes to change your life will make no difference to your life until you put what you’ve learned into daily practice. And therein lies the problem for so-called normal people – they’re afraid to take what they perceive as some really risky leap of faith.

If you’ve managed to come across a self help book that gives you step-by-step exercises on how to change your life (and there aren’t many of them – most of them are ‘feel-good books’) then surely you’ve realized by now that you don’t have to leap into the great unknown. All you need to take is take gentle steps each day that will awaken you from the mindlessness in which the vast majority of normal people are merely existing.

To change your life, you must change the way you’re living day to day at present. You start small – by doing something as simple as changing your morning routine – because small things startle your subconscious mind out of its comfort zone. Once out you will begin to understand that absolutely everything in your life can be done differently. When this realization dawns upon you, you’ll find yourself in a completely different place – where action that was otherwise unthinkable suddenly become obvious – and effortlessly doable.

In other words, it’s up to you to start doing the things that will change your life, to stop reading and start doing.

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Want More Out Of Life? You’ve Got To Change Your Life!

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31/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Most of us want more out of life. That doesn’t mean that you’re unhappy with what you’ve got. Indeed, the secret to happiness is already having what you want. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t strive to scale higher heights of happiness and success because you can’t stand still in life.

But there are those who are completely unhappy with their lot in life – in fact, most people contend that they are unhappy in their job, a staggering number of people worry about financial issues and then there are some who are simply and often deeply unhappy with themselves as persons.

However, you will nothing out of life by wanting or by being dissatisfied with things as they stand. The one thing that is stopping you getting something different out of life is the blindingly obvious fact that you tend to do everything the same. Keep doing the same things and nothing’s ever going to change. If you want change in your life, you’re going to have to do actually change your life!

But what? Like all great journeys, changing your life starts with the first step. A tiny step will suffice because what you’ve got to do is recondition your mind – to get yourself used to the idea that, in every single thing that you do in life, you have a choice to do something new, something different. Perhaps the most powerful exercises that I propose to my personal development clients is that they use the very routine that has anchored to their current life to dismantle the habitual, repetitive patterns of behaviour that have so constrained them, their perspective of life and the boundless possibilities that life holds for them.

I suggest this same exercise to you. Break routine by using your routine. Every morning, you will find yourself with a load of little chores that you’ve done in a routine way all of your adult life. However, if you do something as simple as brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t normally use, you will have reached two, potentially life-changing, milestones. First of all, you will have awoken yourself to the fact that, in everything that you do in your life, you can exercise choice. This realization will enable you break every single destructive habit that has been holding you back in your life. Secondly, by virtue of the fact that you will be brushing your teeth in a different way, you’ll have to pay more attention to the task. The super-successful call this ‘focus’. Focus means paying attention – to whatever it is that you’re doing right here, right now.

Your life is lived in moments – each moment that you pay attention develops your ability to be fully focused, fully aware of what has to be done when changing your life calls for real action – not the routine reaction of the normal person whose life will never be truly lived.

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Goal Setting: How To Achieve Your Objectives

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31/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Ongoing work in the fields of psychology and personal development proves that the subconscious mind is cybernetic – like a heat-seeking missile, point at a target and it will hit it. In other words, give it a goal in which it believes and it will, by its own devices, achieve that goal. Your subconscious mind is working in this manner already. Unfortunately, however, the outcomes in which the normal subconscious mind believes are a random concoction of the programs we learned as children in relation to how the world works and our place in it.

Again, psychology has concluded that the latent state of the normal adult mind is negative. As a result, if you’re normal, your subconscious heat-seeking capability is targeted at, at the very best, a life that’s not too bad – and that is the kind of life that you get. The directional programs which the normal mind uses as its guidance system were uploaded during our childhood years. We learned by watching how others lived and by being impressed by things that were done for us or to us. Having grown up in a normal world our onboard guidance system is set on “normal”. And, because psychology suggests that normal people don’t control their own mind, our cybernetic minds are out of control, bringing us to places that we don’t want.

But, as I’ve said, focus your mind to a goal in which it believes and its cybernetic capability will hit that new target. So, you need to know how to reprogram your coordinates! In this context, belief is not wishing, hoping or wanting. The subconscious mind processes sensory data – so believing is seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting what you want as if you have it already, as if it’s taken as given. Programming your desired coordinates is simply done by handwriting what you want, in those sensory terms, as if you’ve already experienced it. Handwriting impresses the subconscious mind and, once done, the subconscious mind will set about its task – the only thing that will divert it is if you start worrying about when what you want will happen (that’s the kind of useless thinking that sends your mind off its plotted course).

I’ve seen plenty of clients get their desired outcome – I’ve also known a few who, having achieved it, realized that it was not what they really wanted. So, you need to be careful how you set your mind! As a result, as I suggest to my clients, your actual goal setting should be non-specific in terms of the life you want or how you got there but very specific in terms of what it looks, feels, sounds, smells and tastes like to have arrived. So, the bottom line is set your mind on success and happiness, without any preconceived notions, and you’re about to set off on the adventure of a lifetime.

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Personal Growth: Freeing Up Your Inspiration

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31/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

It could be a myth – but often myths are basic facts lost in the passing of time – that, having searched for many years to discover the meaning of life, the Buddha became enlightened whilst simply sitting under a tree. It may also be legend, but legend has it that Sir Isaac Newton had his most significant scientific insight, once again, whilst sitting under a tree. And although it was an apple that reputedly dropped for Newton, you have to find your own tree to allow your very own pennies to drop for you – your personal development depends upon it.

Only a clear and uncluttered mind can be inspired. And the normal mind is anything but clear and uncluttered. Psychology explains that the normal mind is overwhelmed by random thought – some fifty thousand random thoughts zip through our minds every single day. Most of those thoughts are innocuous but, on the basis of research, some of those thoughts are self-destructive – I was going to say positively self-destructive but that would be an oxymoron – these negative thoughts are toxic. I’m speaking of the thoughts that create the illusions of low self-esteem, worry, anxiety, stress and depression. Left in its latent state, the adult mind simply cannot be inspired.

And is life worth enduring without the spark of inspiration? Is life nothing more than going through the motions if you’re not excited and delighted by the exhilaration of the out-of-the-ordinary? Unfortunately, the out-of-the-ordinary is far too rare an event for the normal mind that merely exists in the comfort of the routine. However, if you don’t jog yourself out of this deadly slumber you will simply not have experience real living. Not only that, you’ll be a negative influence on those around you – particularly the people that you claim to love.
Everybody is capable of being inspired and being inspirational. You are capable of escaping from the norm and living your very best life. But you’re going to have to make space for inspiration, you’ve got to give yourself the uncluttered and clear time to let the inner you out. My next-door neighbour in the Alps has often asked me what I do for a living. And, even though I’ve explained it to him a number of times, he still persists in asking – in his own words “It seems to myself and my wife that you waste a lot of time doing nothing!”

Doing nothing is not a waste of time. Doing nothing can often be the time most fruitfully spent. The clarity and peace of mind that comes with spending time doing nothing is the incubation chamber in which inspirational ideas simply spring to life. Thomas Edison found that he only became inspired when his mind was still to the extent that he set about creating quiet moments for his mind every day. The man had over four hundred inventions patented to his name. Pablo Picasso said that he was never sure when inspiration would strike so he made sure that he cultivated a prepared mind.

Are you prepared to be inspired? How regularly do you simply let your mind set off on flights of fancy? I’m not talking about wandering into negative thought – I’m talking about just allowing your mind wander onto what normal people would find unachievable or undoable. But such things are only undoable to a normal mind constrained by preconceived negative notions. De-program yourself – let yourself go, let yourself off the hook of normal ‘living inside the box’. Seek out your tree, sit under it and devote quality time doing nothing.

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Personal Success: Who’s The Next Most Important Stranger?

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31/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Think this through – the people who are currently most important to you were once total strangers to you. Whether by chance or what Carl Jung might view as synchronicity – or, indeed, what a quantum physicist might consider as a derivation of quantum entanglement – you are where you are as a result of apparently random events at the core of which are people who were, when you first encountered them, complete and utter strangers.

When I was growing up I was told, as many children were and still are, not to talk to strangers. There may well be a good deal of sense in that from the point of view of protecting one’s children from the undoubted presence of some very strange people in this world. But, unfortunately, the subliminal subconscious message that stays with us into adulthood is that we should avoid getting involved with whoever we might casually encounter in the course of everyday life.

And, as we go about our normal daily adult lives, the fact is that we wouldn’t really notice a stranger anyway – because, in childhood, we developed a self-preservational psychological facility to categorize new people that we encounter without giving any attention to who they actually are or the importance of the role that they migh play in our lives. As a result of our pre-programming and our ability for categorization, we pay no attention to people that we don’t know. The next time you’re on a tube, subway, bus or train or in an elevator, notice how carefully people avoid making eye contact.

What are all those people missing? Perhaps the next most important total stranger who could change the course of their lives. You’ve no idea who might change the course of your career, who might become your most important customer ever, who might become a life-long friend and mentor. You simply don’t know who might be the next person to change your life. But you’ll never find out if you don’t open your eyes.

Pull yourself together. Opportunity abounds – but is totally missed by the automatic normal mind that’s too closed and blind to see anything. Psychology confirms that the normal person only perceives what they expect to perceive and only experience what they expect to experience. What a death sentence we all are given – by our programming and by our own inaction and unwillingness to take the small leap of faith that making personal contact with a total stranger requires.

You need to open your eyes, you’ve got to smell the roses, become aware of life’s opportunities and go with the flow of a world that is simply waiting to respond to you. I do not propose that you start acting irrationally and outrageously in public places! I’m proposing that you put up your antennae, start tuning into the here and now, let yourself off the lead of the normal outlook. Because, until you do, you normal life will never be anything but mundanely, repetitively and boringly normal – and it will be your own fault.

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