How To Use Questions To Change Your LifeSo You Think You Want A Life CoachMaria Erving is a Personal Development Teacher, Spiritual Teacher and Inspirational Writer - Live In Alignment With Your True Self - Outside The Box! This Website is about Spiritual Transformation and Spiritual Awakening. Let Your Intuition Lead You Right!What’s Next for homeSTRONG Life Coaching?Life coach training: How can I promote my life coach practiceLife CoachingTV Celebrity Fitness Trainer, Chris Powell &, Heidi Powell,share Life Coaching, Key to Weight LossProducts from Rhonda Hess Life Coach Training Mentoring Coaching - Rhonda HessLife Coach Khama Anku/Spiritual Physique The Power of PeopleHow To Improve Your Confidence For Greater Personal Development

Tag: Change Your Life

You Don’t Want A Life Coach

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05/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

I have been in the personal development business for more than fifteen years now and, to be honest, a get more than a little fed up when I come across people, who are as mad as hatters, suddenly proclaiming themselves to be a life coach because they did a weekend course or get some internet accreditation. Being a life coach is a deadly serious business. A coach is well placed to play with people’s minds – and there are plenty of them who do just that with awful consequences. Their clients ‘follow their gut’ – a saying I have come across too many times – or people ‘go with the flow’ – more life-coach-speak. But I sometimes find myself trying to help someone pick up the pieces of their lives having taken such so-called professional advice.

I host a two-day personal development seminar – I’ve been at it for over fifteen years – and I explain to participants that they’ve been provided with all the tools that are required to do whatever they want to do with their lives, whether that’s make lots of money, find their ‘one true love’ (whatever that means!) or simply experience happiness. However, the problem with most people is that they want someone to hold their hands for them. As a child, your parents led you by the hand – your teachers did the same, perhaps not literally. Now that you’re an adult, you need to grow up. It’s time to be responsible for your life – you’re the only one who can. It’s time to stop leaning on the supports provided by anyone else and start getting things done for yourself – I think that’s what self help and self improvement mean.

You need to realize that the only person who can take control of your mind is you. And, more importantly, you need to understand that, if you don’t get inside that head of yours and take charge, nothing in your life will change. Over seven decades of research in the discipline of psychology tells us that the normal mind controls the normal person and that this normal mind is tortured by the ghosts of our formative years. Neuro-psychological research also confirms that, when we assume control of our minds, we can enter what successful people describe as the ‘peak performance zone’ and change our lives. But nobody else can do that for you.

You’ve got to tame your wild mind. It’s wild because, right now, it’s a law unto itself. It’s consumed by your formative years and worried about your future – and you’re stuck, helpless, in the middle. You must take over the levers of power – tell your mind who’s in charge. Train your mind to focus on the here and now – the place and time that your mind won’t focus on at all – the time and place that life is lived, where risks are taken, where opportunity knocks.

So, having read these few words, take ten minutes to, quite literally, smell the roses. Sit down and shut your eyes, experience the sounds of the real world, the aromas of now, the rhythm of your own breathing – the reality of the moment. For, if you don’t come to your senses, your life will never change.

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Get Rid Of Self-Help

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03/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Are you a big reader of self help books? Because the world is full of people who are constantly reading, constantly learning, constantly searching, Unfortunately, however, it is not reading that changes your life, doing changes your life.

Constantly reading self help books is not dissimilar to collecting a number of brochures and travel books about an exotic destination that you long to visit. You’ve poured over the lovely pictures, read the experts’ advice, imagined yourself sipping a cocktail looking out over that breath-taking sunset, immersed yourself in the idea of being there. However, you’ll never pluck up the courage to buy the ticket. What’s my point? Reading about how to achieve the life that you really want and doing something about it are two entirely different things. Reading the feel-good stories about how others have taken the required action and, as a consequence, changed their lives, may well give you that warm feeling inside. But tomorrow morning, when you drag yourself out of bed for another day of ‘not-too-bad’, what has changed? Precious little! When wake up to another day of worry, doubt, financial worries or battered self-confidence, what good will all your books have done you? If anything, you’ll find yourself even more restless and more disillusioned than you were in the first place.

Reading, understanding and intellectually appreciating what’s required for you to change your life will change nothing in your life until you put what you’ve learned into daily practice. And here we encounter an obstacle that is simply too big for so-called normal people – they’re afraid to take what they perceive as some risk-laden leap of faith.

If you’ve managed to come across a self improvement book that has step-by-step exercises on how to change your life (and there aren’t many of them – most of them are ‘feel-good books’) then you must know by now that a leap of faith is not necessary. All you’ve got to do is take easy daily steps that shake you out of the mindlessness in which the vast majority of normal people are merely existing.

If you want to change your life, you have to change the way you’re living day to day at present. Change can start small – by doing something as simple as changing your morning routine – because small things startle your subconscious mind out of its comfort zone. And once out you will begin to realize that absolutely everything in your life can be done differently. When this realization dawns upon you, you’re going to find yourself in a completely different place – where things that were otherwise unthinkable suddenly become obvious – and easily doable.

In other words, it’s up to you to start doing the things that will change your life, to stop reading and start doing.

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What Good Will Self Improvement Training Do You?

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03/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

The short answer to the question is “none!” – unless, of course, you’re prepared to put what you’ve learned into practice. Unfortunately, that’s where most of us fall down. Yeah, they spent a day or two and it was wonderful, they felt renewed, uplifted, ready for action. But research shows that it takes about six weeks for the effects of the average training course to wear off – completely – and personal development training is no exception.

Why? Because it’s easier to stay the same – it’s easier to stay “not too bad” when everyone else around you is not too bad as well. It’s less hassle to not have your friends – or, as some of my personal development clients have told me, their family – looking at you as if you’re some kind of born-again weirdo! It’s always easier to fit in. And, it doesn’t matter what new learning we take on board, sooner or later, to a greater or lesser extent, we revert to type, we revert to our default settings, we go back to being normal. But normal is crazy – there’s over seven decades of research that proves that. And not-too-bad isn’t good enough when you think about the life that you could have – effortless happiness, effortless success, peace of mind.

So, what will you do to change your life? Because, you need to understand, if you want you life to change, you’re the one who’s going to have to do something new, something different. Don’t pay any attention to anyone who tells you that you can change your life in five minutes – they want to make a fast buck. Don’t listen to anybody who tells you that success is all about making cart-loads of money – they’re the ones who want loads of money and some of it is yours! Pay no attention to people who keep recommending the latest wonderful book that they’ve just read to you – you won’t change your life by reading – you only change your life by doing.

Doing what? You’ve got to do little things in your life differently. Try starting with little things – like try brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t habitually use – and your mind will get used to the idea that, in every single thing that you do in your life and in every single situation in which you find yourself in your life – you have a choice. You have a choice – can choose to live automatically and mindlessly like all the other normal crazy morons that are happy being not-too-bad, or you can choose to focus on the here and now, feel the toothbrush’s bristles on your teeth, notice how differently you’re holding the brush, taste the toothpaste. It’s in the minute detail of the normal that you will find reality. And when you find reality, you will realize that you can, indeed, achieve effortless success and happiness because, in reality, it just happens.

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Personal Success – Is Your Life Not Too Bad?

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03/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Some time ago, one the first day one of my Personal Development Workshops, I pointed out that, more often than not, when you ask someone how things are going, the answer you’ll get is “not so bad”! On the second day of the workshop, one of the participants said that, whilst driving there, he was listening to early morning radio. Half a dozen people had ‘phoned in for a quiz and, in every case, when they were asked how they were this morning, the answer he got was “not so bad” – without exception! And although I thought that that type of fed-up response was an Irish thing – but I since discovered that that’s not so. My French friends reply that they’re ‘pas mal’, the British respond in much the same vein. And even my American clients have explained to me that, when they say that they’re great, they’re just trying to convince themselves!

Even a quick glance of seven decades of research in psychology will confirm that not so bad is about as good as it gets! Normal people, to quote the renowned spiritualist Tony deMello, sleepwalk through their lives never realizing that, in order to live life to the full, all they’ve got to do is wake up! Sadly, the ordinary mind lives on auto-pilot – the research confirms that, using our psychological capability of automaticity, we pay precious little attention to anything that’s going on. And, in not paying attention to our daily lives, we completely miss the possibilities of life that are staring us in the face.

Now, if you’re feeling not so bad reading this, then that’s simply not good enough! Why would you go through life in some kind of comfort zone that’s not uncomfortable enough for you to do pull yourself together and change your life? Do you have to experience a disaster or crisis to wake up? All the evidence suggests that that is the case. The personal development expert, Ekhart Tolle, had to endure something like a total breakdown, had to end up living on a park bench, before he realized that he should wake up!

Don’t go that low. Don’t let short-change yourself. Don’t let life whizz right past while you complain about not liking your job, while you worry about money, while you get hyper over the peaks and troughs of what you call life. Things are how they are because you made your life that way. And only you can change your life – you can transform it. All you have to do is wake up.

So, what does this waking up involve? Focus on, pay attention to what’s real, not the stuff that’s going through your head and making your existence routine, mundane and a disappointment. Take your blinkers off, see the reality staring you in the face. Come to your senses, smell the roses. God gave you five senses – isn’t it time that you started paying attention to them?

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Don’t Get Lost In Self Improvement

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02/06/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Are you an avid reader of self help books? Because the world is full of people who are forever reading, always learning, constantly searching, broadening their knowledge not reading that changes your life, doing changes your life.

Continuously reading self help books is much like collecting a pile of brochures and travel guides about some beautiful place that you’ve no intention of visiting! You’ve poured over the lovely pictures, read all the recommendations, imagined what it would be like to be there, immersed yourself in the idea of having arrived. However, you never actually make the reservation or purchase the ticket. What’s my point? Reading about how to achieve the life that you really want and doing something about it are two completely different things. Reading all those feel-good stories about how others have taken the required action and, as a consequence, changed their lives, will give you that warm feeling inside. But tomorrow morning, when you drag yourself out of bed for another day of ‘not-too-bad’, what will have changed? Little or nothing! When you’re confronted with another day of hassle, doubt, financial worries or low self-esteem, what good will all your books have done you? If anything, you’ll find yourself even more restless and more dissatisfied than you were at the outset.

Reading, understanding and intellectually appreciating what it takes to change your life will make no difference to your life until you put what you’ve learned into daily practice. And therein lies the problem for so-called normal people – they’re afraid to take what they perceive as some really risky leap of faith.

If you’ve managed to come across a self help book that gives you step-by-step exercises on how to change your life (and there aren’t many of them – most of them are ‘feel-good books’) then surely you’ve realized by now that you don’t have to leap into the great unknown. All you need to take is take gentle steps each day that will awaken you from the mindlessness in which the vast majority of normal people are merely existing.

To change your life, you must change the way you’re living day to day at present. You start small – by doing something as simple as changing your morning routine – because small things startle your subconscious mind out of its comfort zone. Once out you will begin to understand that absolutely everything in your life can be done differently. When this realization dawns upon you, you’ll find yourself in a completely different place – where action that was otherwise unthinkable suddenly become obvious – and effortlessly doable.

In other words, it’s up to you to start doing the things that will change your life, to stop reading and start doing.

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Want More Out Of Life? You’ve Got To Change Your Life!

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31/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Most of us want more out of life. That doesn’t mean that you’re unhappy with what you’ve got. Indeed, the secret to happiness is already having what you want. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t strive to scale higher heights of happiness and success because you can’t stand still in life.

But there are those who are completely unhappy with their lot in life – in fact, most people contend that they are unhappy in their job, a staggering number of people worry about financial issues and then there are some who are simply and often deeply unhappy with themselves as persons.

However, you will nothing out of life by wanting or by being dissatisfied with things as they stand. The one thing that is stopping you getting something different out of life is the blindingly obvious fact that you tend to do everything the same. Keep doing the same things and nothing’s ever going to change. If you want change in your life, you’re going to have to do actually change your life!

But what? Like all great journeys, changing your life starts with the first step. A tiny step will suffice because what you’ve got to do is recondition your mind – to get yourself used to the idea that, in every single thing that you do in life, you have a choice to do something new, something different. Perhaps the most powerful exercises that I propose to my personal development clients is that they use the very routine that has anchored to their current life to dismantle the habitual, repetitive patterns of behaviour that have so constrained them, their perspective of life and the boundless possibilities that life holds for them.

I suggest this same exercise to you. Break routine by using your routine. Every morning, you will find yourself with a load of little chores that you’ve done in a routine way all of your adult life. However, if you do something as simple as brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t normally use, you will have reached two, potentially life-changing, milestones. First of all, you will have awoken yourself to the fact that, in everything that you do in your life, you can exercise choice. This realization will enable you break every single destructive habit that has been holding you back in your life. Secondly, by virtue of the fact that you will be brushing your teeth in a different way, you’ll have to pay more attention to the task. The super-successful call this ‘focus’. Focus means paying attention – to whatever it is that you’re doing right here, right now.

Your life is lived in moments – each moment that you pay attention develops your ability to be fully focused, fully aware of what has to be done when changing your life calls for real action – not the routine reaction of the normal person whose life will never be truly lived.

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Self Improvement: You’ve Got To Know What Turns You On

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28/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

I’ve met many people who want more out of life. I talk to many people who feel that they want something different but have no idea what that ‘different’ is. Many people are simply not happy where they are – perhaps their stuck in an unloving relationship, they hate their job or, perhaps, they’ve just been doing the same job for so long that they get nothing out of it anymore. And often, those who take the route of personal development, want more out of life but they don’t know what that ‘more’ is.

Do you want more out of life? If you do, you must have some idea of what more actually means. There’s little point in longing for something else when you’ve no idea what that something else might look like and feel like. In other words, you’ve got to have some idea of what turns you on.

In a recent conversation with a client who has been doing the same job for the last ten years, I was struck by the extent to which she hadn’t the first idea whatsoever of what she wanted to do in life. She was thinking about her options using that sad old formula of her perceived strengths and weaknesses, her past work experience and, most chillingly, her perceived need to pay her bills. You may find those last few words to be rather strange – bills are real, they must be paid. But unless you’re an absolute idiot, you won’t do something that would leave you destitute

However, our commitments always seem to come uppermost in our minds. The big problem is confirmed my recent research that suggests that the normal people are obsessed with money and afraid that they will not have enough of the stuff (whatever enough might be). Forget about your financial commitments – they will be more than adequately looked after if you put your heart’s desire first. I’m not suggesting that you be reckless about deciding how you want to change your life, I’m simply suggesting that there needs to be a very different order to your priorities.

To set your priorities, you need to know what would really – and I mean really, really – turn you on. What would you leap out of bed for in the morning? What would excite you so much that doing it wouldn’t be work but a labour of love? Ask yourself: What is my ideal life? And, most importantly from the point of view of your all-powerful subconscious mind (the part of your mind that creates your reality), what would your ideal life look like, feel like, sound like, smell like and taste like?

An unusual question? Not at all – the subconscious mind believes in the snapshots that it holds dearly within its inner recesses. These snapshots are not visual, they use all five senses – no surprise, you make sense of the world by using your five senses and it is through using your five senses that you were programmed to live the repetitive life that has you so disillusioned right now. The key is to excite your subconscious mind and the real excitement in life will follow effortlessly – oh and by the way, all the bills will be more than adequately catered for.

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Turning Yourself On When You’re Simply Feeling Flat

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24/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

There are days when we all feel flat – perhaps not disillusioned, dejected or depressed, just lifeless, energy-less and disinterested. And although I’ve been teaching my many personal development clients how to start each and every day by switching on their minds – and I do the same myself – sometimes, within no time at all, one ends up feeling, like, ‘I wish I was somewhere else!’ or ‘I just don’t feel like doing this!’ I’m not talking about things that go wrong during the day, I’m simply talking about what one client described this way: ‘I get into my office, full of beans, I sit down at my desk, open up my PC and, suddenly, it’s like I’m in a kind of daze.’

What is it that takes the wind out of our sails so effortlessly? How come we can be so fired up one minute and then suddenly so flat? Well, the answer is extraordinarily simple – flat is your default state of mind. Yeah, believe it or not, research proves that few of us is tuned in enough to actually be adequately focused and attentive to get through the normal day effectively. As if that wasn’t enough, research also proves that, left to its own devices, our minds simply drift into negativity. It’s the way we’re wired – and all the personal development or self improvement in the world won’t personal development or self improvement isn’t going to change the hardware.

But personal development will change the programs that we run. Again, left to itself, our subconscious mind is content to watch reruns – to keep running the same old broken programs that make our daily lives uninteresting, mundane, repetitive and uninspiring. You must get control of the remote control! Personal development will teach you how to change channels and enable you stop watching the same old nonsense. It will enable you tune in to reality TV – the reality of the here and now.

Unfortunately, this feeling of mindless-couldn’t-give-a-damn simply invades our minds by default. And that will always, for the rest of our days, be our default state of mind unless you cultivate a mindful, focused, tuned in state of mind – and not only must you do this every single day, you’ve got to discover a mechanism to ensure that you can recapture that state of mindfulness when you find yourself slipping down the inevitable slippery slope towards mindlessness – because, as sure as you’re breathing in and out, you’ll start slipping and sliding the moment your back is turned.

OK, I’m mixing my metaphors, between computers, TV and slippery slopes – but you get the picture? Our mind is always waiting to mug us – we’ve got to be alert as much as is humanly possible.

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The Small Changes That Will Change Your Life

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22/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

Have you ever come across someone who is totally happy with their lives so that they don’t want to change a single thing. Of course, there’s loads of surveys and research that confirm that most people are unhappy in their work, their finances, their weight problem, their fitness or the quality of their personal lives – or all of the above!! In short, normal people are normally not happy. Little wonder that most people find my self help website by Googling Change Your Life.

However, surely it isn’t that simple to change your life – otherwise all those unhappy people would be doing it! After all most people, whilst being unhappy are also afraid of change. So, if you’re one of those people, you’re kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place! The problem is, first of all, that people are afraid of the unknown – even if it is the great unknown that they hope to achieve! And, through painful experience, they know too that, when they’ve tried to make major changes in the past, they’ve failed to hang in there.

I’m writing this post on February 15th – and by now, research confirms, over 90% of people will have given up on their New Year’s Resolutions! And there’s just so many studies that prove just how hard we normal people find it to change. Did you know, for example, that the average membership of a gym is twelve weeks – and in those three months the average new member manages just two visits! That’s not going to make anyone fit!

Now, I haven’t set out to make you even more disillusioned or to tell you that you cannot change your life. I make my living from helping people change their lives. They all ask me how I took such a courageous risk when I moved from my native Ireland – with my wife and three teenage children – to live in the French Alps. My answer is always the same – it was simply the obvious move to make because so many teeny-tiny things had changed in the lead up to what other people perceive to have been a big move. It was no big deal, it was simply the logical next step.

You see, you change your life by changing really small things. That way, your plodding mind – and the normal mind simply loves things to stay the way they were when you were a child – becomes accustomed to change. Little by little you totally disassemble all the things that you want to change in your life and you become so used to change that the things that you want to happen simply happen as that logical next step.

OK, that sounds all very well but where to begin? Start really small – like eat something unusual for breakfast tomorrow – or actually have breakfast! Take a different bus or train. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. Switch the knife and fork in your hands at dinner tonight. Mix it up – because you’re all mixed up already – and out of that mix up will arrive the certainty of mind you’ve always been looking for.

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Is Your Life Grinding To A Halt? A Little Personal Growth Is Required

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20/05/2011
by Health Prosperity Guru

The majority of my Personal Development clients, when I meet them for the first time, feel that they’ve become stuck – perhaps they feel that they’ve encountered that so-called glass ceiling, maybe they feel that they’re going through the motions or that, in some vague way, they sense that there must be more to life than the daily repetitive routine. Indeed, one individual said to me “My God, I can’t even get excited about our vacation anymore, we’re going to the same place in August that we’ve been for the last six years”.

Everything becomes stale in life unless you constantly keep renewing and reinventing. However, But it’s not your life that grinds to a shuddering halt, it’s you! Or, more correctly, it’s actually your state of mind that becomes so anaesthetized by the day to day routine that passes for living, that you just disappear into oblivion. The problem is that you stopped experiencing new things during your teenage years. The normal mind is wide open to all new experiences during early and mid childhood – this is when our sponge-like capacity to absorb means that we really were, indeed, taking everything in. By 11 or 12, we started pulling down the shutters. By 19 or 20, we were a done deal. After that, with the exception of truly momentous events in our lives – like the birth of a child, or a bereavement – we experience nothing much. We think we are experiencing, but actually what our subconscious mind is doing is interpreting everything on the basis of old stored knowledge and pigeonholing the new it accordingly. In other words, the normal adult state of mind is completely unaware, numb, reactive, divorced from reality and simply going through the motions.

Life never grinds to a halt – the universe and our world and everything in it is reinventing itself again and again. Opportunities abound, adventures beckon, new people are waiting to change the course of your life (in the same way as once total strangers changed it in the past). But you’re numb, cocooned in the apparent safety of a normality that is literally sucking the life out of you. Not only can you not see the opportunity and adventure of life – because you’re not looking or seeing – even if you could, you wouldn’t feel up to making the choice to get onto life’s wonderful rollercoaster. That’s because, as adults, we’re used to not choosing. The normal adult almost never takes the opportunity to choose their own thoughts – preferring to let the subconscious do the choosing for them automatically.

So, if you’ve arrived at an crossroads or impasse, it’s up to you to take the right route, it’s up to you to choose, it’s up to you to get your life moving in the direction that you want it to move. Nothing in your life will ever change unless you’re prepared to make some changes yourself.

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