{"id":17,"date":"2010-10-19T19:31:51","date_gmt":"2010-10-19T06:31:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/?p=17"},"modified":"2010-11-26T11:31:13","modified_gmt":"2010-11-25T22:31:13","slug":"effective-methods-to-help-you-not-take-things-personally","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/effective-methods-to-help-you-not-take-things-personally\/","title":{"rendered":"Effective Methods To Help You Not Take Things Personally"},"content":{"rendered":"<!-- Easy AdSense V2.99 -->\n<!-- Post[count: 1] -->\n<div class=\"ezAdsense adsense adsense-leadin\" style=\"float:right;margin:12px;\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\r\ngoogle_ad_client = \"ca-pub-8279754544979895\";\r\n\/* self improve3 *\/\r\ngoogle_ad_slot = \"2464079329\";\r\ngoogle_ad_width = 250;\r\ngoogle_ad_height = 250;\r\n\/\/-->\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"\r\nsrc=\"http:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/show_ads.js\">\r\n<\/script><\/div>\n<!-- Easy AdSense V2.99 -->\n\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">Towards Self Improvement Mastery<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">I think it would be fair to say that in certain situations we all have a tendency to take things personally. It&#39;s just that some of us have a greater tendency than others to do so. &nbsp;And, when that happens, some of us are better able to deal with it within ourselves than others are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">Taking things personally is never healthy in any relationship: employer-employee, friend-friend, husband-wife, partner-partner, parent-child, and for a number of reasons. One major reason is that, if you do tend to take things personally, then your feelings will continually be at the mercy of others &#8211; whether they attacked you personally or not. To surrender self control to someone else is a weakness, in a way it reflects a lack of self respect and it is no way to live!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">If you are someone who tends to take things people say or do personally, then as our first steps towards <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/2selfimprovementmastery\" target=\"_blank\">Self Improvement Mastery<\/a>&nbsp;I want to share with you a method I have used and have found really helpful. It involves understanding why people sometimes do what they do and accepting that often what and why they do has nothing at all to do with us and therefore, there is reason to take it personally.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">There are two relationship principles in play here:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\"><strong>Relationship Principle one:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">People sometimes are selfish. This principle may sound cynical but bear with me. It is an undeniable fact that in given circumstances most of us, bar the highest of spiritual thinkers have selfish tendencies. However, some of us are more selfish than others. And some of us can become selfish given the right circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">By understanding and accepting that people are sometimes selfish, we then understand that these people:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&#8211;&nbsp;will think only in terms of what is best for them,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&#8211; will see things only from their own point of view,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&#8211; will want to be right about everything,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; will want to have things their way all the time,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; will not think about how what they do affects others,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; and so on . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">See the reasoning here? The thoughts are very self centred; there is no concern at all for the other person. It is a selfish mindset.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">Consequently, these people do what they do for no other reason than they are motivated by selfishness! And if they are motivated solely by selfishness, there is no reason why we should take personally what they do and say. The action has nothing at all to do with us. In fact, your view should simply be that the person has demonstrated just how selfish they are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">For example, if someone cuts you when you are driving; don&#39;t take it personally and react emotionally. Just tell yourself, &quot;this person has just shown me how selfish they are by cutting me off . . . it is nothing personal!&quot; I will take the sensible ground and just let it go. You are on the road to mastering <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/2selfimprovementmastery\" target=\"_blank\">Self Improvement<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\"><strong>Relationship Principle Two:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<!-- Easy AdSense V2.99 -->\n<!-- Post[count: 2] -->\n<div class=\"ezAdsense adsense adsense-midtext\" style=\"float:left;margin:12px;\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\r\ngoogle_ad_client = \"ca-pub-8279754544979895\";\r\n\/* self improve3 *\/\r\ngoogle_ad_slot = \"2464079329\";\r\ngoogle_ad_width = 250;\r\ngoogle_ad_height = 250;\r\n\/\/-->\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"\r\nsrc=\"http:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/show_ads.js\">\r\n<\/script><\/div>\n<!-- Easy AdSense V2.99 -->\n\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">People always have a reason for doing what they do. This principle is one that I learnt about people a long time ago. Now this does not mean that people are always right about what they do. Nor does it mean that they should always be excused for their action. Importantly it does not mean that the person always knows why they did what they did. There is nevertheless always a reason!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;Here are some reasons that MIGHT cause people to do what they sometimes do (perhaps you can think of others):<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; past unmet needs,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; current needs,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; current wants,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; past unresolved issues or conflicts,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; past hurts,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; current fears,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; current hang ups,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; ulterior motives or hidden agendas,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; current insecurities,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; past decisions,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; ego issues,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">&nbsp;&#8211; personality disorders such as: narcissism tendencies, ADHD, ADD, Lack of.. and so on . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">Consequently, sometimes people will do what they do simply because they are motivated by who they are, their personality and the &quot;baggage&quot; they carry! And, if they are motivated by such things; it is and should remain their problem. There is no reason to take the words or actions personally. Doing so doesn&rsquo;t change the fact and doesn&rsquo;t change the person. Their actions have shown you that they behave as they do simply because they &quot;have issues&quot;. Nothing to do with us and therefore nothing personal so commit now never to become their victim by taking it personally!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">For example, I know a 12-year old boy who once told his step-mother &quot;I love you&quot; only to be given the reply &quot;Yeah, well you have a funny way of showing it!&quot; Needless to say the boy was deeply hurt by the reply (and understandably so). The way to help that boy is to help him understand that, even though the step-mother&#39;s comment sounded like a personal attack on him, the reply really revealed that the step-mother is a person with some issues to resolve and there was nothing personal in the reply.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">In conclusion, not taking personally things people say and do is to firstly understand and accept that sometimes people are selfish and\/or they &quot;have personal unresolved issues&quot;, and that the behaviour most often has nothing at all to do with us. You simply turn the situation around by understanding that the behaviour betrays who they really are. This helps you shift the focus from you (which is why you take things personally) and places it on them where it rightfully belongs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px\">To make a quantum leap on your journey to Self Improvement Mastery <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/2selfimprovementmastery\" target=\"_blank\">Click here<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<iframe src=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/like.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwisdomhealthprosperity.com%2Fselfimprovementmastery%2Feffective-methods-to-help-you-not-take-things-personally%2F&amp;layout=standard&amp;show_faces=true&amp;width=450&amp;action=like&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;height=80\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none; overflow:hidden; width:450px; height:80px;\" allowTransparency=\"true\"><\/iframe><div class=\"addtoany_share_save_container\"><div class=\"a2a_kit addtoany_list\"><a class=\"a2a_dd addtoany_share_save\" href=\"http:\/\/www.addtoany.com\/share_save\"><img src=\"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-content\/plugins\/add-to-any\/share_save_256_24.png\" width=\"256\" height=\"24\" alt=\"Share\"\/><\/a><\/div>\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\nvar a2a_config = a2a_config || {};\na2a_config.linkname=\"Effective Methods To Help You Not Take Things Personally\";\na2a_config.linkurl=\"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/effective-methods-to-help-you-not-take-things-personally\/\";\na2a_config.onclick=1;\na2a_config.show_title=1;\n\/\/--><\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"http:\/\/static.addtoany.com\/menu\/page.js\"><\/script>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Towards Self Improvement Mastery I think it would be fair to say that in certain situations we all have a tendency to take things personally. It&#39;s just that some of us have a greater tendency than others to do so. &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/effective-methods-to-help-you-not-take-things-personally\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"addtoany_share_save_container\"><div class=\"a2a_kit addtoany_list\"><a class=\"a2a_dd addtoany_share_save\" href=\"http:\/\/www.addtoany.com\/share_save\"><img src=\"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-content\/plugins\/add-to-any\/share_save_256_24.png\" width=\"256\" height=\"24\" alt=\"Share\"\/><\/a><\/div>\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\na2a_config.linkname=\"Effective Methods To Help You Not Take Things Personally\";\na2a_config.linkurl=\"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/effective-methods-to-help-you-not-take-things-personally\/\";\na2a.init('page');\n\/\/--><\/script>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[32,23,31,35,21,24,37,25,38,28,30,34,33,27,1874,36,26,20,19,29,22],"class_list":["post-17","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-improvement","tag-circumstances","tag-employer-employee","tag-feelings","tag-first-steps","tag-friend-friend","tag-husband-wife","tag-nbsp","tag-one-people","tag-people","tag-point-of-view","tag-principle","tag-reason","tag-relationship","tag-self-control","tag-self-improvement","tag-self-improvement-mastery","tag-self-respect","tag-selfish-tendencies","tag-spiritual-thinkers","tag-tendency","tag-undeniable-fact"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19,"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions\/19"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wisdomhealthprosperity.com\/selfimprovementmastery\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}