I have worked in the personal development area for over fifteen years now and, to be honest, a get more than a little fed up when I see people, who are a danger to themselves, suddenly proclaiming themselves to be a life coach because they completed a couple of days’ course or get some online accreditation. Being a life coach is a deadly serious business. The coach is in a position to mess with client’s minds – and many who do just that with catastrophic results. Their clients ‘follow their gut’ – a phrase that I’ve come across too many times – or people ‘go with the flow’ – more life-coach-speak. Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself helping someone pick up the pieces of their lives having taken such advice.
I deliver a two-day personal development programme – I’ve been at it since 1996 – and I tell participants that they’ve been given all the tools that they need to do whatever turns them on, whether that’s make lots of money, find their ‘soul-mate’ (whatever that means!) or effortlessly experience happiness. The problem with many people is that they want someone to take them by the hand. As a child, your parents held your hand – your teachers did the same, at least metaphorically. Now that you’re an adult, you need to grow up. It’s time to be responsible for yourself – on one else can. You’ve got to stop leaning on the crutches provided by anyone else and start doing things for yourself – I believe that that is what self help and self improvement mean.
You need to come to terms with the fact that the only person who can get inside your head is you. And, more importantly, you’ve got to understand that, if you don’t get inside your head and take charge, nothing in your life will change. Over seven decades of research in from discipline of psychology tells us that the normal mind controls the normal person and that this so-called normal mind is haunted by the ghosts of our formative years. Neuro-psychological research also confirms that, when we do take control of our minds, we enter what successful people describe as the ‘peak performance zone’ and transform our lives. But only you can do that.
You’ve got to whip your wild mind into shape. It’s wild because, at this moment in time, it is a law unto itself. Your mind is obsessed with your past and worried about what hasn’t even happened yet – and you’re stuck, helpless, in the middle. You must take over the levers of power – tell your mind who’s boss. Train your mind to focus on the present moment – the bit that your mind won’t focus on at all – the place and time that you actually live, where risks are taken, great journeys are embarked upon.
And, now that you’ve got to the end of this article, take time out to, quite literally, smell the roses. Close your eyes, experience the noise of the real world, the smells of now, the sense of each breath that you take – what it’s like to experience the real world now. For, until you come to your senses, life will stay put.
